an understanding of what is supposed to be my planner.

I have the attention span of a goldfish...seriously. Ok, probably one that's a bit more calm and well behaved than the one swimming frantically on my bookshelf, but a goldfish none the less.

(oh by the way, my goldfish is still swimming and breathing and eating...well actually, I do kinda need to feed him, but he's alive none the less, thank you thank you)

Ok anyways, about my day.

Maybe its because I had to sit thru another lecture about fitness (even though I got my little fitness test card back saying that I'm pretty much not there but I did in fact run the mile in a decent time, yes I know, you're amazed), or maybe its because my printer is beginning to seriously develop some behavioral problems, or maybe its just because I sat thru four rather boring and very long classes today, but I have not been able to occupy one task for more than about 5 minutes. (except maybe this blog)

But when I finally made it back to my computer to check my email this afternoon, I suddenly found myself overwhelmed and all calm and composition slid out the door.

So now I look back and find that I am now:

a) tutoring for physical science (ugh) which I'm just taking the intro class and hating it. and I got a 50% on the quiz today, and I haven't read more than 10 pgs of the book. So I have no idea why I was asked to do it, but hey, its an extra couple of hours of workstudy a week.

b) possibly mentoring an elementary schooler through the Big Brother Big Sister program

d) applying as somewhat of a back-up for a semester in the Netherlands

e) attending a tri-state educators conference so I can write a response and presentation on it to make up for the month of slack-ness that has been my life until now

f) going to Russia (what?!?)

and that I have not:

1) done my laundry, and won't be able to for....?

2) accomplished anything as far as homework

3) washed the pile of dishes that was my floor/fridge

5) finished...wait, actually I had a really good one there, but I forgot...oh finished reading my email

Ok so hopefully that doesn't give too much insight into my life, but I think I have something else that I'm supposed to be doing right now, so I should probably work on that.

fewer red markings on this weeks assignment.

I am very sorry that pictures have been taking up most of my blog space. I realize that this is a sign of a slacker-blogger. However, I just feel that these pictures so clearly portray my life that I would not be able to give you a better mental image in words.
The sad thing is that this is in fact my El Ed Math. Somehow they make simple concepts into confusing problems and I not only have to wade my way thru them but I also have to put up with constant ridicule of my poor scores. Somehow, 2 ducks + 2 ducks + 1 duck is actually 3 ducks, not 5 ducks. Don't ask me.

another weekend of beautiful, wet, almost-Oregon rain.

If I end up eating another plain dry bagel with peanut butter, I might just drop out.

I think a visit to Grandma and her kitchen is in order.

a pet who will survive long enough to be named.

This morning, I had to say goodbye to a very new, but dear friend of mine. He actually had no name, because I told myself to wait at least a week to give him a name. I knew that it would be much harder to bear if I had given him a name. So I took a spoon and a cup and said a few words to small fish, hoping that large fish would be able to cope with the loss, before I sent him swirling down into the world of forgotten goldfish.

Thankfully, my roommate was not in a state of full consciousness or realization, so she did not have to be the one to find the poor thing, floating at the top of his bowl. Especially since she probably would have lost all control and woken me up at 7:30 and made me flush him right then and there.

Any words of encouragement would be appreciated, especially for his kin, large fish, who is now left alone, with no one to bother or chase around his bowl. But he is left with the knowledge, that although short, his friend had a very happy and well-fed life.

another year as memorable as the last.

So I'm entering my third week of being back in the routine, and I've realized that I haven't completely settled into the idea that I am in my second year and that I'm not the 18 year-old freshman with big, scared eyes and a flashing sign anymore. I actually at least look like I know where I'm going and what I'm doing.

Anyone who is finished with college will immediately tell me how fast these years go, but those who are in the midst of it can see how long each week or term or even class goes. And of course how far away that long walk with the cap and gown (not the wedding gown by the way, that's much farther away) seems to be. That is until I begin to think of maybe a semester here and then one abroad, and then a couple here, and then maybe one more somewhere else and pretty soon, the time with my beloved wool coat and wonderful friends seems to be almost up.

Now don't laugh, I'm sure that all of you who are straining to even think back through the decades since you were my age are sitting there with that smile of "those young kids, they don't realize how different those years will look when they look back from 50 years (oh I mean 35 years)." But I'm sure you were really not so far from my position one day long ago.

So all that to say that I'm thinking that my blog needs to grow and change with me but I really have no idea how that's going to work. I'm thinking maybe some new theme's or title's or something like that, but you'll just have to wait patiently until I figure out exactly what I want. Because this is, after all MY blog, one of the few things that I can call my own, and most of us know, how much I like to be in charge of changing things.

Although; it definitely seems hard to believe I've changed at all myself since a year ago, especially as my roommate and I listen to the Beach Boys and argue about who exactly are the "Northern Girls" and which ones are the "Midwestern farmer's daughters" (she thinks Montana and Michigan have their own regions).
Or as we sit in the back of the car trying to see how many different poses we can take pictures of by ourselves on the way from Super Wal-Mart to our dorm.
Or (the most important) discuss what pet we can all live with and enjoy without losing sleep over nightmares about stepping on wet, flopping goldfish on the carpet...but you'll just have to wait to see how that one turns out.

defend my easy homework.

I have suffered through 19 hours of sitting in a hard chair, but I still get continually mocked about being an El Ed major. "all you do in class is glue cotton balls to colored paper!" "Have you learned 2 + 2 yet in the math class of yours?" Somehow none of my friends realize that they are going to someday put the lives of their own children in my hands. Plus, I am not learning elementary math, I'm learning how to teach elementary math, and I'm not spending my hours gluing and coloring and finger painting...I'm saving that class for next term. And however difficult this is, I will admit that some of my classes are somewhat slack, those in which we discuss the best ways to place a group of desks in a classroom or how to effectively break ourselves into groups. But compared to the sample of the health, physical education, and recreation major that I've experienced in my general PE course, education should be more quickly related to engineering. Recreation? PE? Talk about a major that brings its student to their fullest expectations, like how many brain cells does it take to...well maybe I should stop there: I've made a goal this year to make as few enemies as possible, and I really need to get started on that.

miss home but not miss sharing a closet with my sisters.

Dorm #2: much better version than last year's model. A bit more organized, but less homework-oriented.

Now that I'm fully settling back into dorm life, I'm realizing the many things that I missed and the things I definitely didn't miss. However, I'll save you from the torture of reading about the things from the second category.

Besides missing my wonderful friends, I realized that I tremendously missed sleeping in on Saturday, pretending lunch is actually breakfast and generally doing nothing but sitting on the couch and reading weekend afternoons. I also missed having my own closet, even though somehow I have already more than filled up my space. I missed my computer and having my own desk to put it on. Having a semi-soft bed to sleep on. (by the way, a note to those living near that darling flower-power room, think about the fact that I'm comparing a dorm mattress to the one I had all summer, maybe that one should take a break in the bunkhouse). I missed not having to wash any dishes or clothes or do any cleaning in general, but unfortunately that will likely end soon. And finally, I am thankful that I am going to welcome a new member into my dorm: a goldfish that Heather isn't completely convinced will bring peace and tranquility into our room.